vonkoh
18th february 1986
vonkoh@hotmail.com
singaporean
WORK BEST WITH MOZILLA FIREFOX. (:
OTHERS
pots of gold.
diamonds.
pradas.
coachs.
taroting.
jade bangle.
jade chinese seal.
wii plus ddr mats.
pretty were the distortions.
importance were the
weals and woes.
fuck the nutcases.
the key to euphorias.
now, the many who are no
longer playing by the rules.
i never promise you a
happy ending,
you never said you wouldnt
make me cry.
keep me in your heart for
a while more.
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great,somebody turn off my alarm la.
what the hell. woke up only to realise
that the sun is shining brightly up high in
the sky already while im snuggering under
my quilt. when i open my eyes and start my
brain working,this big (numerical) figure
appeared on my mind.
stress is seriously now up my neck;its been
hours and the numbers not going away from
my mind.
anyway,its flattering when im being introduced
by bosses to others 'my youngest agent'. its really
good staying at the early twenties. as proud as i
tell others im the youngest in the family.
like what jeffrey always say,i have something that
the whole agency dont have,youth. this guy here
have been of great help. (:
didnt sleep for the whole of last night.
went for meeting in the morning.
lunch at paya lebar in the afternoon
at city plaza. (sorry but that place is so
for mainlanders?)
then expo with eileen and mummy for
metro sales. the shopping can kill me now
because of my killer heels.
lastly,happy hours with my district at
la cartina. i simply love the food there and
the ambience is just great.
the whole stretch of my colleagues aligned
are scary. and they can drink darn well.
my boss usually dont drink,and he and the
PA in-charge guy,each one cup of coke and
1/5 of beer respectively,make me bottoms
up one full cup of wine for my pledge.
anyway,i managed to make my boss bottoms
up twice of wine so i must make it.
in fact,the wine is almost drowning my mind.
so much things going on tonight and my
brain can hardly digest.
time to sleep and goodbye to my unwanteds.
night world. (:
jen cant sleep as well,so the both of us
are pretty nonsense online now;both
wasting time doing things that we dont
usually do. and i hate it when kikki snores
when im so bloody awake and trying to
sleep at the same time.
anyway,somehow the thoughts of my
past triggered. and i seriously dont like
it. no,not that im ashame of my past,
i mean the past 3 years. prolly exclude
the time im working at pub. just feel
kinda stupid plus some foolishness.
i cant deny the partial part of feeling
'regret' in me,like some steps that i
shouldnt have taken to make things
so unaligned.
but without all those things that had
happened,i wouldnt be where i am today.
i begin to read my old entries. from the time
i cant handle,to the time im trying to let go,
till the day i can finally say its finally over.
the less than five minutes of tearing with
myself bursting into laughter next was prolly the
best part. my friends looked at me in disbelief.
okay,i know the other party will have its own
story. anyway,i should be grateful,i think.
there was this incident:
cle: "eh,wheres your that ah."
be: "no more la."
cle: "no wonder now i see like theres a bit of life
in you."
be: "no! is finally she have a life."
i enjoyed working at pub,where i get to
meet all sorts of people and they make a
part of me today or,maybe a big part;they
taught me the bent rules of all the games i
engage myself in. please,i had all the clean fun.
the long hours of drinking during work helped
me a lot because for my current job,when i goes
out to drink and people trying to te kan you.
they get drunk first before you do.
and my current job,i love the freedom,the only
thing i seriously need to do is just to get myself
bloody disciplined.
now i can proudly say that,i love myself.
and baby,youre the next best thing.
so used to working for money;
and soon its living for money.
guess what?
insomnia is back. )):
my,christmas just went past like that.
this christmas aint as meaningful as before.
even though ive met up with a lot of people
today.
two house parties and lastly,club again.
prolly because i was thinking where to go
and what time should i reach and leave;prolly
disrupted those precious time i could have
spent with those people i hardly meet up.
this christmas made me think about a lot
of things;surprisingly it brought about a
clearer picture of what have been going
through my mind lately. and now its up to
me to bring them to actions.
however,i dont look forward to 2008 now.
its finally the 24th december,even though
im not in the christmasy mood. but still,i
cant wait for all the programmes thats lined
up for me for this christmas. (:
okay,i just dont know why.
but right after christmas,gotta start my
work already. )):
or bi la,last week happily make all the
phonecalls to stewards for appointments.
christmas is a season to be generous,
god,wont be just be generous to me?
so almost partied tonight. and luckily my
friend who stayed near me gave me a better
option than heading down st.james.
i thought changi villiage tranvestites were
gone the few times i went down,who knows
tonight i see them again.
okay,i a bit "suah gu" about changi villiage.
as my friend was driving out of that route,
we saw this trans alighting from the car;and
i was trying to see how the driver looks like la
but missed. yet my friend (he have got like
perfect eyesight),described how that driver looks
like,next time i better wear specs out.
can you imagine in future your partner were to
tell you they frequent the transvestites before?
either with you or before you. trust me,i will KILL him.
wonder if i ever mentioned this article about
transvestites who sell 'their body'? (not sure if its
okay to say that,correct me if im wrong though).
one of them was being interviewed and its always
understandable that those who are trans are being
despised. this guy after his sex-operation,now a she;
couldnt find a job at all and because she was jobless
like months,her savings depleted and ended up,
loitering around changi villiage.
there were ocassions that some of the sisters got
robbed or even gangraped;some assholes even beat
them up. some even attend to dont know how many
customers till dawn just to meet ends.
no point making remedies to what weve lost,
and not treasuring what we have gained.
give me a place where i can call home.
im sick and tired of it all already.
i hope this is really my one last night of
partying;hopefully,ive fully fulfilled my
promises to those i said i will party with.
tonight is one hell crazy night. was with ann
and selina dancing away on podium. (which
is something that i dont usually do),and
stupid paul trying to be funny and his
bringing-it-on because he kept saying im
getting old. darn. paul's a good boy.
you ask him dance,he dance.
but i must say it was really fun. havent
enjoyed myself like that for a long time.
and silver say i was like darn high. but i
guess it also depends on whom you club
with.
last night i was almost bruised home instead
of drunk home. karen can hug me so tight that
she nearly made me fall either to the front or
on my back. and whenever she talk to me,she
almost kissed the whole of my face with her
sticky gloss and her teeth hit my lips. lastly,
she stepped on my poor toes that i teared!
darn,all these happened within 15 minutes i
think.
shouldnt have met up with so many people
at st.james. i kept going in and out of the
re-entry queue till i was like darn pissed
queueing and waiting.
and now my head is spinning and my limps
are aching,im darn tired.
too many spells trouble baby,now proceed
to the exit on my left.
man,i finally mustered the courage to
call the stewards;wonder where did those
daring-ness come from tonight. called at
least 40 of them at one shot though my
determination is like diminishing after i
made somewhere like the 35th call. and
finally,i decided to nuah again.
BOO!
im so dependent. god,anyhow can i be
more independent? )):
birthday song for this week is almost like
what? national anthem la.
im STRESSED!
you are my takeflight. ((:
there are like so many december babies?
attend parties till im almost worn out. since
wednesday till tml the last perhaps?
im so happy that my programme now show
the status of "no upcoming birthdays".
i cant take parties in clubs anymore,dont
even feel like touching anymore alcohol!
ping's birthday had mackers party and ang's
ark birthday had a bursting buffet.
two nights in club and now im reallyreally tired.
and sorry silver that im looking so very dead
when im out with you and your friends. i know
i owe you one crazy night out.
give me more shocking news to give me some
awakening darlings. come and think about it,
only a few people are capable of doing that to
me la.
ive slept and nuah quite a lot but i still feel
that i havent had enough sleep.
god,help me!
give me a royal robe please. )):
anyway,was looking through all the photos
in my photo album and realised,i dont have
much photos taken with my sisters. in fact,
i only had like one photo with each of them
that kind.
eileen,my eldest sister. this photo was probably
taken when i was first year in poly.
this is ginny here. photo was taken this february
when she was performing at dragonfly.
and,the only photo i have that have the three
of us together. this photo was taken 2-3 years
ago if im not wrong.
coming to the end of 2007. i dont have those
resolutions for the coming new year,but i plead
and wish that they can hurry get married,set
up their own family and stop bugging me day
and night.
gosh,last night was one hell night for me.
was supposed to stop all the partying like
last week,anyway last night was an exception
because it was karen's birthday;supposed to
get back all focused for work today. but im
feeling giddy instead of the hangover kind of stuff.
went into bellini like 7.30pm and my friends
made me bottoms up like dont know how
many cups of wine and tequila shots. almost
totally wasted;and paul,the poor lad could
have enjoyed himself more instead of taking
care of me and let me command him here
and there. and i was like complaining why
did he get me coldwater instead of the iced-
water i wanted,then he was arguing with me
like theres no difference when what i wanted
was actually ice. he drank only two cups of
alcohol when ive prolly lost count of the number
of cups ive had by 12midnight la. its so wrong to
start drinking when its like your dinner time la.
havent been so wasted for such a long time
already and i enjoyed most when i laugh the
hardest at almost every single thing.
last but not least,i love MICH! ((:
twentyfour hours a day is so not enough.
couple of hours of sleep per day is insufficient.
)):
i wanna jump and dance in the moonlight.
and boo! von is finally out of the 'cinderalla' life.
no more washing of dishes and clearing dirts
before i leave the house - 7HORRIDdays are over.
can you imagine when you are meeting your
friends 10.30pm outside the club and you are
still stuck at home doing the bloody dishes?
and halfway you are washing them,the person
who come to your place to pick you to go down
to the club together called and you had to tell
him 'im sorry,just a while more,i needa finish
washing the dishes before i can leave the house.'
wat lau!
i hate the stage of 'growing up or older'.
almost forgot the days i was mugging with
the girls at burgerking.
im feeling guilty,because those were the
only days that i was the most hardworking;
like fighting for my own future,where that
so-called fire was the strongest.
and now,im always reminded of 'this is your
career. dont really know how to take that next
step already.
overbearing = this renown sister of mine.
just wondering if i should thank you for
giving me such a good life when i was
younger that made me such an inconsiderate
person and now start crushing me when im
older that you must really force me to grow
up the way you were taught.
attended my company's seminar today.
and i felt that they can get quite crappy
and some daring la,just whack the bosses
straight to the face.
and they just annouced the change of
the layout of our website,you guys can
go check it out because its so like ICE AGE la!
im having call-phobia these days. )):
i need some psycho-ing badly.
facebook is like the outbreak of friendster.
then it became a useful tools for people to
do recruitment through it.
and as i was trying to tidy up my organiser
and make some notes,facebook birthdays did
me a favour by giving me everybody's birth dates.
i was happy for a while that it might be peaceful
since my parents are out of town. BUT! not
forgetting my dearest sister is also staying with me.
(thats the only reason why im always complaining
like why aint she married and moved out yet.)
if not i could have people come over my place and
take care of me right.
im like one ah-sum now,my sister will call me out
of my room,either to clear the newspapers of poos
and pees of that two bitches. other than that,clean
the dishes and clear the stupid mess she made.
last but not least,she can consider hiring me as her
personal secretary when i have spare time for her.
because whenever she types an email,either her
boyfriend or me have to be around her to do some
email-creation.
i foresee very soon shes gonna make me sweep and
mop the floor if she cant ta han anymore.
and now i fucking hell hate their double standards,
still;it aint fair to justify my time with theirs.
if they fucking hell know how to think.
wah,darn fucked up.
sometimes i just hate my company's
webmail.
i spent so much time typing my email
to my client,almost an hour.
and im finally done. but my intermittent
callings from my sister disturbed me
very much.
and guess what,just as i clicked Sent,
(maybe because i was idle for some time
too,the system logs me out.)
and now,that whole chuck of mail that ive
typed is GONE!!!! ))):
something to share,because breast cancer is
like the most common form of cancer among
women singapore. but if detected earlier,it is
curable.
some women are at a higher risk of developing
breast cancer than others. breast cancer is more
common in women:
- most often between ages 45 and 55
- who have close relative,mother or sister,who
has had breast cancer
- who have never been pregnant or who only
had their first child after the age of 30
(holy shit,my sisters are over 30.)
- who started having their menstrual periods at
a young age, or who have a late menopause
(reminds me of my first time seeing blood and
clots. hahs.)
- who have certain types of breast disease who
have already had cancer in one breast
- who are obese whose diet is high in fat.
warning signs may include one or some of the
following:
- a painless lump in the breast or armpit (the
commonest sign)
- a persistent rash around the nipple
- bleeding or any unusual discharge from the
nipple (oh my god)
- swollen,thickened skin dimpled over the breast
- the nipple is "pulled" into the breast (sads)
all along i enjoy being the female because of all
the countless of privileges the ladies always get
to enjoy,from the gentlemen and anywhere. but
then ah,such female illness that might ruin our lives
by removing one of the precious away from us.
okay,im stuck at home due to the heavy rain and
im so bored surfing the web and just paste something
like that on my blog. the next time i shall find
something new.
another piece of good news,im gonna have some
peace for the next 7 days because daddy and mummys
out of town. very soon i will be having freedom,because
ginny and steven is leaving for somewhere too. ((:
i have a darn interesting family i guess.
daddy have been an angry man because my
sister and i can slack our days away like theres
no tomorrow. more of under the influence of
my mum.
mummy is the classic one at home. she never
fails to irritate me and now,i have no more
energy left to argue back anymore.
her GODS and her can simply drive me nuts
before i end up in an asylum.
recently i asked her for some coins and she
told me to take from her purse. when i was
holding to her purse,i was like why is it so
thick? (i thought she had lots of notes in there.)
but guess what. those thickness comes from
her more than 10 pieces of tailsmans or amulets.
you name it,she definitely have it.
and she never give up in nagging at me how
effective are these amulets if i were to bring
it along with me when i go to work.
another is my eldest sister,eileen is like double
standard la. i stayed out the weekend and she
was repeating her "go home now and stop playing
so much." when she and ginny used to party like
everything doesnt matter.
shes becoming more and more like my mother;
i can smell it!
ginny,my wellknown sister who controls me la.
occupy my time my space my life. )):
im dying of fever i guess. i hate to be sick. disrupt
my plan of day's work.
and me,lets see how much i know myself.
i love to take advantage of being the youngest in
the family and im the laziest and most stubborn.
im so used to i want it and they will give me kind
of mentality and anything that happens to me its
okay,because the house (not family) is where i seek
my temperary shelther.
just in case you anybody here use private
number to call me,pardon me if i do not pick
up and do me a favour by sending me an sms
to let me know who you are. ((:
weather been great for the past two days and
i spent it as though im having a holiday.
just as im about to get back to work after this
morning's company function,the bloody headache
could just split my head apart for the rest of the
day,even panadols doesnt help.
its strange how the different life stages we are at made
us behave so differenty from before. hurr.
michelle! where are you?!