and so,von is back. (:

mothers instincts got
me all pissed again.
esther say when we
become mothers ourselves,
we will then understand
their intentions.
all i can say is,no.
im not giving birth to
one darn kid who is
going to turn out like
me or any of my sisters.
i will prolly turn violent
and tie them upside down.

implied challenge;its always
a gain or lose situation.
so whats the result when that
one refuses to admit defeat.

and esther and i did this
very nasty thing again,like
after so long we left
secondary school.
we never learn to be kind.
we saw this girl at chinatown
who looked so different from
before yet behave the same way.
remember the movie benchwarmers?
talking about how those people
in school used to benefit so much
yet there are some others who
dont and even after they have
graduated,they are so affected
by those who teased them back in
the old school days.

people out of our league are
always considered weird because
their actions are not so much
communicated fashionably to us.
queers.

i remembered asking cindy,how
do we define ones achievements.
this is one question that ive
gotta think about seriously.
a)number of certificates
b)things they consider achievements
c)medals maybe?
d)set that silly goal and achieve it.
when ive attained my goal,thats
my achievement.

geek for n and o levels
and finally,got into poly with
my first choice of course study.
and now what?

poly life was so not a student
life for me,i have been fooling
around so much.
someone told me,it took me so
many years to create so much
shite,dont i expect all these
shite to be cleared instantly.
picking things up aint easy;
should i hide myself at one
corner till storm is over?

i abhor all the setting of goals
and plannings right now.
where am i getting at?
i dont see myself climbing that
corporate ladder anymore.
whats so fun about wearing
executive suits and facing
that darn computer that might
cause our eyesights to fail
even further after so much of
readings of those textbooks before
we are able to step out of school.
while on your way up the hierachy,
clear that heaps of many layers of
working papers and before you know
it,there might be another heap of
mountain building up beside it.

they say karma,believe it,its true.
yet in business world,its more real
than just karma.
people out there are trying to survive
in this nasty world without knowing
how not to hurt others.

life is short to even bear grudge.
how big can our heart be to forgive
others knowing that life is so short
that we cant stay on one thing for long.
but then again,how big can ones heart be.

i have this big guilt in me thats
stopping me to do some things.
yet i have this big anger in me
not knowing what i should do.

twentyfour hours is always not enough.
i need more time to get everything
right again.
im impatient,i dont like to take one
step at a time yet not knowing whats
the results like.

one last thing,who enjoys being a topic.